Why The Stages Matter

Understanding what developmental stage your child is in makes everything easier—for them and for you.
 

Many of the challenges you face as a parent are simply signs that you’re relating to your child as if they’re in a different stage than the one they’re actually in. When you shift your approach to meet them where they are developmentally, everything begins to change.
 

I use a framework based on the first three stages of life to help you navigate discipline, communication, boundaries, and emotional connection with more clarity and ease.
 

Here’s an overview of the stages:

​Stage 1: Individuation (0-7)

This stage is all about physical growth. Your child is learning to be in a body, to feel safe and nourished, and to become their own person without losing connection to you. They need a strong sense of closeness and comfort as they begin to individuate.
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Stage 2: Socialization (7-14)

In this stage, your child is learning to understand their feelings and express them. Inclusion becomes deeply important—they want to feel part of things, especially in emotional moments.

They're beginning to see that emotions are energy: How do I affect others? How do others affect me?

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This is the time for agreements as an excange of energy, not just rules. And it’s where they start learning how

to give love—even when they don’t feel loved in return.

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Stage 3: Integration (14-21)    

This stage is all about understanding. Your child is integrating their emotional and physical development with growing mental capacity, discernment, and will.
 

It’s the beginning of trial adulthood—a time to give up being parented and begin practicing responsibility.

You’re no longer a parent; you become a trusted ally and guide.

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The new mantra in this stage is: “What do you think?”
 

Teens in this phase need the space to make real choices based on real understanding. It’s about helping them think clearly,

act consciously, and take ownership of their life.

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When you understand these stages, parenting shifts from reacting to responding.
Discipline becomes reconnection. Communication becomes more effective.

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This framework is woven into every consultation I offer.
It helps you see your child more clearly—and give them what they truly need, right now.

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Note:

The framework of the first three stages of life—Individuation, Socialization, and Integration—was originally articulated by Adi Da Samraj.

I share these principles here in a practical context to support conscious parenting and family connection.